It happened early this morning. At around 4:20am CST, my Darling Jenny passed away. I’ve seen people die before, but never someone so close to me… there aren’t many so close to me in the first place. At the end, she touched my face and smiled, a memory I’ll treasure forever. She was many things to me, both teacher and student, friend and lover. She knew things about me no one else knew. Probably not even me.
She was one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and could easily have made me feel stupid – but she never did. She found a pure and overwhelming joy in knowledge, and loved both to teach and to learn. She soaked up information from everyone around her, and radiated it like a star. Alone of my close friends, she put all the pieces together. She first met me as I am now, but she figured out who I was before… likely from the very beginning.
Her voice was like a choir of angels. People have told me that when I sing, I affect people’s emotions, but Jenny could draw tears from a stone. She says it was me who first drew her to the music, but I know it was always in her soul. Maybe I was in the right place at the right time, but it was always in her, and nothing could have stopped it from coming out.
I have never in my life met a kinder or a gentler person. Jenny didn’t even know how to raise her voice in anger. She genuinely loved everyone she met, and I like to think they all loved her back. I know I do.
She never knew why, but this song always reminded me of her… she couldn’t see that it was about her.
Farewell, sweet earth and northern sky,
Forever blessed since here did lie,
And here with lissom limb did run,
Beneath the moon, beneath the sun,
More fair than mortal tongue can tell.
Though all to ruin fell the world,
And were dissolved and backward hurled,
Unmade, into the old abyss;
Yet were it’s making good for this:
The dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea,
That Luthein, for a time, should be.
The world is a darker, sadder place now, and it pains me that I ever lived long enough to see a world without her in it.