The Last Road

Living every day like it's the last… because one day, it will be.

Archive for the ‘love’ Category

40 Years

Posted by Rystefn on July 20, 2009

Following up on my last post… 40 years ago today humanity took our first steps on an alien world… While Luna is not so distant we cannot easily see it on almost any night we care to look up, we shouldn’t downplay what a momentous achievement this was. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go look at the sky for a bit.

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Running Hawk

Posted by Rystefn on July 16, 2009

So here’s a piece of short fiction I wrote recently. It’s still pretty rough, but I think it holds up fairly well. I’ll probably smooth out some of the more obvious D&D references sooner or later, but since I wrote for someone’s D&D game, the references went in when I wrote it, and they’ll stay for a while, at least.

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Happy Day

Posted by Rystefn on July 13, 2009

Yes, I know I’m likely to catch flak for this. No, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me that several of the people involved no longer consider me a friend or that the rest never did. It doesn’t matter that one of the principles apparently has a pretty serious dislike for me. It is still a happy day for me to find out Rebecca got married this weekend.

It is, in fact, just about the coolest wedding I’ve ever seen. Those of you who don’t know anyone else involved will still appreciate the execution, I think, and get a kick out of the ringbearer. For me, the joy on so many faces I have come to know and to care about is more than enough cause for happiness. I’ve been a lot of places, and seen a lot of things, but nothing in this world can compare to the wonder and joy of love. I doubt anyone reading this will ever understand how much it means to me for someone I only ever met in person once to be so happy, nor why it should affect me so. Hell, I doubt if I really understand it myself. Still, this is honestly one of the happiest days I’ve seen this year, and I’m endlessly glad of it. I wish the both of them many long and happy years.

Rebecca, if you ever read this, I owe you for one wedding present. Since I don’t exactly know where you’re registered, I’ll just say that any object or action it’s in my power to give is yours for the asking. All I ask in return is that you be happy.

Edit: Almost as soon as I posted this, the song “Let Love In” started playing, and I got all teary-eyed all over again. What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.

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All Good Things

Posted by Rystefn on April 27, 2009

Given that my readership has most likely fallen away to zero at this point, there’s little point in making this post, I think. Still, here it is.

If you’re wondering where I’ve been this last month and change, it will likely come as no surprise that my time has been steadily invested in being around a certain attractive woman. Sadly, it seems this chapter of my life is coming to a close. She the usual meaningless speech about how it’s not me, it’s her, complained about my inability to read her mind and magically know what she wants at any given time… the usual things. She pretended she wasn’t seeing someone else, and I pretended to believe her, then I left so she could get ready for her date tonight.

She said we could give it another try later, or somesuch, insisting the she loves me still. She asked me wait, knowing what has happened in my life. Knowing how long I tortured myself in the vain hope that my wife would come back, she asked me to wait. Once, I was in love so deeply that when the woman in question suggested I move across the country to live with her near her family, I quit my job. I saw her to the airport, when she traveled ahead to make things ready. She said she would call when it was time for me to follow. I waited in my apartment, with all my belongings in boxes, until the police had to come and forcibly evict me. I still haven’t unpacked most of it. You may not have known this, but she did. Knowing the torment I’ve been through (yes, that I put myself through, but still), she asked me to wait again. It was the most intentionally hurtful thing I’ve ever been told in a breakup.

Do you know what the worst part is? Much as she made me happy, and as much as I enjoyed spending time with her, and as alone as I feel tonight – I felt just as alone last night. It hurts that she’s gone, but not so much more than it hurt when we were together.

I guess I never really started caring again after I lost my Dove. I just starting faking it better… even to myself.

Posted in Emo, love, regrets | 6 Comments »

To Open the Door, Part 4

Posted by Rystefn on December 18, 2008

Ok, so either I couldn’t find a good spot to break it, or I just wanted to hurry up and get to the end. I’m honestly not sure which, but either way, this is the rest of the story, some ten pages or so.

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To Open the Door, Part 2

Posted by Rystefn on December 17, 2008

Part Two was going to be significantly longer: about 15 pages typed and double-spaced. I thought about breaking it down into smaller portions, but I there aren’t so many good places to do it, given how busy the beginning part of the story is. I’m trying to introduce most of the major characters, set up the plot, and include some action, mystery, and romance… in the process I planted the seeds for a much deeper story than I had initially planned. Lucky for you, reason won out, and I’m chopping it into smaller segments. Five pages seems a bit more reasonable for this format, don’t you think?
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To Open the Door, Part 1

Posted by Rystefn on December 16, 2008

I wrote this short story a couple of years ago to do something a little different (at the time I was writing mostly fantasy stuff). At first, I considreed posting it all in one big piece, but it has a couple of convenient break-points, so I’m going to take advantage of that and put it in smaller sections. This first one is very tiny, but don’t worry – the other two are quite a bit longer.

Fair warning: it’s still pretty rough becuase partway through editing, I noticed that there’s clearly much more to the story here, and decided to adapt it to a longer form piece and explore more of the story. Read the rest of this entry »

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Snow Days

Posted by Rystefn on December 11, 2008

It snowed tonight. Not the pretend snow we get around here once every four or five years, but real, honest snow, which has happened three times so far in my entire life: once about a quarter of a century ago, and twice in the last five years. Ever wonder why so many Texans deny global warming? That’s part of it. Our winters have been streadily colder here on the gulf coast, and the summers milder as well. Climate change is a better phrase for what’s happening, because while the mean temperature may be going up, weather patterns shift in ways that make local areas experience the opposite effect.

That said, I totally made a snowman and kissed a pretty girl in the snow for the first time since I came back to this continent. The last time it snowed, I just watched some kids make a snowman and then provided a pipe (establishing myself as a hero in their eyes), and the girl I was with at the time wasn’t so much for the cold, so kissing outdoors was right out. Now I’m off to crawl between the blankets with a beautiful woman, and I suggest you do the same.

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I’m Sorry

Posted by sabrinaremains on October 10, 2008

I’m sorry I haven’t been writing updates like I should. It’s very hard for me. He hasn’t been awake at all since Tuesday. Most of the time, he talks in his sleep, and he hasn’t been doing that, either. I don’t think he’s just sleeping… I don’t know how to say this. The words hurt so much. I don’t think my Rystefn is ever going to wake up again. He would probably want to me say something about how he lived his life the way he wanted… about how he laughed enough that we shouldn’t cry that he won’t laugh anymore… that he’s smiled enough we shouldn’t frown because he’ll never smile again… that he’s loved enough…

It would be a lie. He hasn’t laughed enough, and I’ll cry for the laugh I won’t hear again, and for the smile I won’t see again. I’ll never feel his lips on mine, or listen to him sing me our special song… I’ll never feel safe in his arms again. Maybe I’ll never feel safe at all. I know I’m not alone. Kate is strong, but she’s crying tonight, too. So are Sam, and Rebecca, and Jenny waiting for him on the other side is crying, too. So are people I’ve never even met and people I probably never will. And far too soon, Chelsea will be crying with us. I know now why he didn’t want to tell her. I don’t want to tell her either, and he loves her so much more than I ever could.

He said that we shouldn’t cry for him. That we should cry for the world that’s losing him. Maybe this is what he meant… I cry for him, but I also cry for Kate, and for Chelsea, and Janie, and Siren, and Bee… and I cry for me, too. I know most of his friends are atheists. At least his online friends, the ones who will read this. Most of you believe what he did. Maybe even now, the part of him we knew as Rystefn is gone forever, and only the shell remains. Maybe there’s nothing left but our memories, or what is left will be gone so very soon. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for you. The only thing that’s keeping me sane now is the thought of us being together again eventually.

I think I’d like to make a request tonight. As soon as you read this – wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, tell someone you love them. Even if you just said it. You never know when it will be the last time, and when it is, you won’t feel like you said it enough times. Trust me.

Posted in Living every day like it's the last, love, regrets | 1 Comment »

Another Update

Posted by sabrinaremains on September 30, 2008

Rystefn is still in the hospital, and he’s in less pain now. I guess the doctors finally found something that wold work on him and managed to convince him to take it… or more likely, Kate convinced him. She stayed with him all last night, and to hear him telll it, she was cracking the whip all over the poor staff. She’s staying with him again tonight, and probably every night for as long as he’s there.

I passed along your messages to him today, and you guys lifted his spirits so much. It was nice to see him smiling again, and even to laugh some. I wrote down some responses and I hope I didn’t get anything mixed-up. He’s still in and out of it sometimes, and it’s hard to sort out inside jokes from… you know.

Jadedwon: It would be more profound to see an atheist praying, but he appreciates the sentiment, if not the thought, anyway.

Elyse: He said he would love for you to smuggle him your boobs any time but that he was going to not say anything crude about tacos and that you would either be very proud or very disappoined about that. Then he said that if you’re disappointed, you could bring him your taco, and he would kiss it better.

Kimbo Jones: If he added anything to your life by disagreeing with you, then he feels that his life truly has meaning. He says that since you can’t pay it back, to please try to pay it forward.

SteveT: Daughters certainly do count, and any prayer that involves kissing pretty girls is the right kind

Killyosaur: He says to remind you that he’s lived more in his 28 years as most two people twice his age, and that 112 is quite a respectable age, thank you. Then he said not to mourn for him dying so young, but to mourn for the world losing him after too short a time.

Improbable Bee: Kiss whoever you want to kiss. That’s the important bit. Then he started talking about showers and rain, and I don’t know if that’s for you or not, but it was very sexy.

Masala Skeptic: He said he very much enjoyed your company, and that he would have shared as many drunken nights with you as you could want. Then he pretended to apologize for checking out your butt when you turned away from him.

JanieBelle: He says to kiss your Kate the way he kisses him Kate and he’ll call it square. If you send him graphic descriptions.

Bug Girl: He says to thank you for caring so much and that he’s sorry he snapped. You were trying to help, and he was an ass.

If I missed anyone, I’m very, very sorry. Remind me and I’ll pass it on tomorrow. He appreciates all the kind thoughts and wants you to know he loves you all very much.

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